ESFC Call-up for top of the table clash against HELO

Our star defender Adib has been in the spotlight for the week due to his shocking dismissal in the last game. The great history of fantastic fairplay which ESFC has always been displaying has added to Adib's misery. In his interview with PeePeeSee news, he said that he had smeared the history of ESFC. However his defensive partner Zhong was quick to defend him, claiming that it is great for the club to pair him along side Adib. The wonderful pairing has only let in 3 goals in the whole tournament. The club felt that the dismissal was already unfair and no extra punishment will be given to Adib. Vice captain Josh is sure that he could not wait to bounce back from his trauma following all the interviews on his dismissal with the press. While fighting off his self declared 'shame', his supporters and fans will be eager to see Adib back on the pitch. Although he will be sitting together in the stands with them and serving his ban. Cheers Adib!!!

Adib has something for the team and that is to warn his team of complacency as ESFC looks set to extend their 3 point lead at the top of the table against rivals HELO FC. Despite ESFC's 4-0 triumph in their previous encounter, Adib wants his teammates to be serious right from kick off to the final whistle. Despite last week's result against lowly 6 Yard Box, which may have given false impressions to other teams that ESFC once again bagged the 3 points laid for them, the players felt that they were not up to their best. Just as Adib wants to bounce back from the ugly incident, ESFC are ready to up their standard against the 'never say die' of HELO FC who are still clinging onto the chase for top spot. It will be a tough test for them as ESFC will deny them the chance to go top and extend their precious lead!!!

Below are the names called upon to face HELO FC:

1. Weilin
2. Lionel
3. Zhong
4. Eugene
5. Darren
6. Boon
7. Jason Ang
8. Josh
9. Ah Long
10. Peng
11. Figo
12. Yen Hao
13. Nizar
14. Sin Ting
15. Nathan
16. Ngak

Players are to reach MJC at 820am
Jersey colour: BRING 'BOTH RED & BLUE' SETS
Reminder: Shinguards are necessary!!!

Wakalele returns! (well sort-of)

In a truly ironical fashion, Abang Safri , also know as Wakalele to teammates and fans, decides to come out of the jungle to give an advice to the disquieting rage of Muhd Adib. Everyday Sunday FC has been missing the tenacity of the central defender, albeit one with immaculate feet & knees, exceptional poise for a small man and an ability to finish a person off which reminds us Kumar first encountered him as an all-round(literally) midfielder.

Wakalele said he had spoken at length to Adib about the need to balance his fierce competitiveness and desire to win with an element of restraint and common sense. I've known him for ages, right from the days when we're still hairless and ogling at mannequins so I definitely know how he feels.

"In football, you have to be extra careful with referees," said Wakalele.

He added:"The most important thing is keeping 11 players on the field so I've talked to Adib and all the players about their responsibilities and the discipline they must show, especially when they are deemed to be educated.

"Adib's strength is also his flaw. There are lots of aspects of his game that need improving and that's one of them. It's an area in which he's trying to improve although we're conscious too that you can't take away his strengths. His strengths are that he's a winner and a competitor. He is someone who challenges for the ball and the downside is he gets frustrated when things aren't going his way.

"It's all about control. Emotional control is the key in football because you are coming up against referees who interpret the game a little differently to ours. That's the message I've been trying to get across."

Abang Safri also proudly said that when he, himself, does get sent off, he makes sure that it is for the right reason for the team like stopping an opponent from scoring in a 1v1 situation.

The central defender also claims that opponents are quite terrified by his approach and physical appearances and those are the reasons why he has always succeeded in terrorizing them. However, SoccerNEINEI.com has disclosed that Abang "Wak" Safri flaunts fake tribal tattoo on his arm in an attempt to delude the opponent into thinking that he is a big-time gangster.

SoccerNEINEI.com asked Wakalele on the date he will return to play for ESFC but before the interviewer could finish the sentence, the player has already disappeared into the thick jungle of Bukit Timah, presumably to escape from the authorities for a controversial red-card offence.

SoccerNEINEI.com views that Muhd Adib is an exceptional player for ESFC. He wants to excel, wants to win, and perhaps he feels officials are interrupting him, disallowing his expression, and feels a powerful sense of injustice. A sort of me against the world, which is a deception great athletes can be masterful at. Passion after all can never be an excuse for petulance.

Vidib has Spoken

Muhammad Vidib has come out of hiding. Unlike Ronaldo, Vidib wasn't caught on camera with transvestite. He has finally faced the media after his stupid remark on sunday which earned him a straight red.

" I would like to apologise to all my teammates and fans who have been behind me all the while up till the incident. I regretted saying it out loud. I still believe that the referee sucks but i should have kept the comment to myself. I have smeared the name of this wonderful club and also disappointed all the parents who looked me up as a role model for their kids. Once again, I will accept whatever punishment the club feels i deserved," commented Vidib, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Vidib will miss this Sunday's match against HELO FC for the red card he received last week.

Darren's absence & mind-blowing revelation!

Left-back Darren Sin was surprisingly missing from today's game and his absence has left many startled as the ESFC player is one of the most enthusiastic players in the team with his passion and love for the game.

The effect that Darren’s absence had on the 4-1 victory against the 6YardBox was inconspicuous. However, Vice-Captain Josh Kho accepts that the lack of Darren’s presence made the game quieter.

“Darren can lift players around him,” he told The Shite Times. “He is infectious with his work rate. He gets the crowd buzzing with his war cries and animated stunts. He is just so cute to be playing on the pitch.

“But we were missing other players as well. The team we had out was good enough to win that game. You can always say we’re missing this player, or that player. But we had the squad to cope. We’ve got so many talented players that you hoped one player would conjure something and that was what happened today with Nizar and Yenhao scoring 2 goals each."

However, right after the Vice-Captain's interview, One of Darren Sin's alleged lovers, Mary Wo Hen Mei, gave a shocking revelation to The Shite Times about her supposed relationship with the ESFC left-back, describing it is a "mind-blowing'' experience.



In a no-holds-barred interview, Mary insisted she was telling the truth and that she was not proud of what she had done even though she says she "felt zilch" for him when they first met.

She added: "I felt zilch for him. I mean, he is not my type of guy. I never go for looks or you know I never go for image-type people. You know, it took a while before that attraction built, especially when I have fetish for taller men.

"As I got to know him I began to find different aspects about him attractive, physically very attractive, I began to see him in a different light, albeit from a taller perspective."

They had begun kissing "passionately" at the highest floor of a Jurong East HDB block before they got to his house. In his room, she said, "We couldn't keep our hands off each other, basically".

She said: "He said, 'Are you ready for some action?' and I said 'YES!' and he said 'Let's have some Calbury chocolate first' and he brought in some chocolate and he was feeding me. It was really romantic and I felt a million dollars that night, I felt so special even though I prefer Kit-Kat."

Pressed further, she said: "Chocolate really set the mood straight and I remember biting into a chocolate first thing and it was nice. Before long, we were already taking the clothes off."

However, the atmosphere changed rapidly when Mary Wo Hen Mei took off her skirt. Apparently, Mary's real name is Martin Wo Hen Shuai and he/she had cross-dressed to become a woman after learning that he/she has more female hormones in his/her body.

She claimed: "Darren was shocked and immediately chased me out of his house. He said he just wanted to have some fun and for the press not to be informed about this."

Mary admitted to becoming very quickly besotted with Darren: "He is a very satisfying lover, very intimate, very intimate.

"He knows how to please. He's not afraid of a woman's body. He seems to know pretty well what he is doing until after I took out my skirt.

"It was not a heart-breaking relationship - like when you have been with someone for years. It happened so fast - I never really gave it time to sink in.

"It was very difficult to deal with and I was very hurt. I was besotted by him."

"These are the facts, this is what happened, this is the truth,'' Mary said in her shocking interview.

"I was wrong to have done what I did, but it did happen and I am not going to live with a lie for the rest of my life,'' said Mary, who is currently seeking job offers in our famous Changi Village.

"I felt a million dollars. It was a mind-blowing experience,'' she said in the interview which was reported to have cost The Shite Times SGD$100.

Rumors have been spreading in the tabloids Darren Sin has gone into hiding after a run-in with cross-dressing Martin Wo Hen Shuai. The ESFC player canceled two TV appearances on The Simpsons and has informed local media said he will be back in the near foreseeable future.

ESFC extended their winning streak to four wins out of four with a 4-1 win over the sporting 6YardBox under the scorching Sunday sun, albeit playing somewhat unconvincing football.

We conceded a goal from the corner as slack man-marking allowed 6YardBox to equalize with a free header, after Yen Hao's screamer drew first blood. MotM Yen Hao put us in front again thereafter with a remarkable volley which left both his opponents and team-mates stunned.

Adib was sent off for verbal dissent in the closing minutes of the game as his patience ran out with the referee's decisions.

All in all, it was a good match for the neutral (cough field warden cough) as ESFC retained their top place spot.

Pre-match analysis with captain marvel, Tan Boon Han

Sunday is coming! Flying high with 3 wins in 3 games, ESFC is conquering the top spot in the table. Tomorrow's match will be against bottom of the table club, 6yardbox.

Despite the difference in standings, captain Tan Boon Han stated," We will not take this game lightly. Although they are the bottom team at the moment, everyone has their off day. Therefore, I expect my team to live up to our billing as the top team in the mini league and to take every game serious. No one should rest on their laurels and believe that the opponents will give in. I believe that all the more they will give their all to prove that they do not belong down there."

Meanwhile, Joshua Kho is excited after being handed a start on the left of ESFC's back four. A statement from him said that he will cherish the new role given to him by captain Tan Boon Han and will do his best to make it his own. Of course, he will have to fight out with 3 other players who have all played in that position this season - Eugene Ong, Darren Sim and Low Sin Ting.

Latest update on player availability has been rocked by rumours of captain Tan Boon Han injuring himself caused by Tan G Long's tackle during training yesterday at FICO, Figo's penthouse. Just like Ashley Cole, Tan Boon Han continued training after receiving treatment from the team's Physio, Grace. Another freak injury victim was Tan Ri Peng. He hurt his butt while cycling for a good cause. Another one on the sidelines is Low Sin Ting. His cause of injury was the worst of the lot as he pulled his hamstring after watching Van der Sar saved Anelka's penalty which crowned Man Utd the Kings of Europe. PeePeeSee wishes all three a speedy recovery.

The team lineup for tomorrow's match has been named :

1. Tan Weilin (2)
2. Ong Eugene (3)
3. Muhd Vidib (5)
4. Lionel (6)
5. Tan Boon Han(7)
6. Kho Joshua (8)
7. Tan Yen Hao(9)
8. Tan Ri Peng(10)
9. Ang Nathan (13)
10.Chong Figo (14)
11.Ang Jason (16)
12.Muhd Nizar (17)
13.Tan Guan Long(18)
14.Sim Darren (19)
15.Zhong Terry(21)
16.Low Sin Ting(24)

Tomorrow's team colour will be the colour of the Champions in memory of the 5oth anniversary of the Munich crash and also to commemorate Manchester United's league and Champion's League triumphs.Be there at 1015h!



Let's start our "MOJO" just like ALI G!

Declaration by Vidib

After hearing from his captain, Muhammad Vidib has decided to take a step back and retracted what he said to PeePeeSee news,

"I"m sorry for the misunderstanding. As the interview was in Tamil, I believe that my words have been written out of context. I will never want to stop playing for ESFC. Ever. Unless i get called up by Team Singapore, I will don the ESFC colors every weekend, lest 8th June 08 as I have a wedding to attend in Malaysia. As for this Sunday's match, I would want to play. However, I'm currently nursing an injury to the knee, 2 wounds the size of one 20c and one 50c coins which i picked during last Sunday's game. the wound has restricted my flexibility to the extend that i had to stop training for a week. I've limited my routine to just walking normally. Hopefully, I'll be fresh enough for Sunday to make it to the bench. Once again, I would like to apologize to my team for the misinterpretations which has caused dismay and disbelief."

PeePeeSee News talks to Figo!

PeePeeSee News caught up with Wenxiong, also affectionately known as Figo to his teammates, during the post-match conference to gain some insights about the game. The newly acquired midfielder has mesmerized the fans with some exquisite moments in the games he has played so far.

The No. 14 scored his first goal for ESFC in the recent match against
British Council Hornets FC. Fans would be hoping that the attacking midfielder, who can play anywhere across the midfield, will keep up this form as the team progress in the Espzen Sunday Mini League.

The Ex-SGS player told PeePeeSee News:"Its always great to score goals and I do what I can. Honestly, I get the same buzz if I make an assist. I enjoy setting up goals as much as scoring them. Maybe even more so."

He added: "The key to our success has been determination, and the discipline within the squad.

"We get on so well, even though myself and Jason Chew have just joined the team, the lads have been wonderful enough to welcome and interact with us. It really is the best team that I have played for so far.

"The performances on the pitch speak for themselves but as characters within the squad the team spirit has been fantastic but I personally think that we can still improve if the lads are willing to communicate with each other more.

He also has an idea of how to improve on that:"Personally, I feel that I have some sort of telepathy with both Eugene One & Darren Sin because we have a huge antenna on our faces and I hope that the other lads will follow suit and add some antennas. It will definitely improve and hasten up the gelling of the team."

Now ESFC are aiming for the club's first league triumph, and Figo added:"We have got to keep this form going. But football is an amazing and unpredictable sports. You win a few matches and you will feel invincible but if you lose the next one, it might be a blow to your spirit. We must not let that happen to us. We must always be on our toes."

Speculation has it that the midfielder will be dropped if he forgets to bring his personal shin guards the next game and Figo was quizzed on the rumor.

"Nah, that was just the media trying to cook up some stories for tomorrow's papers. I learnt Muay Thai when I was young and that explains why I do not need to wear shin guards."

ESFC 5 - 2 British Council Hornets FC

ESFC achieved yet another emphatic victory in the league, this time against the sporting and humourous British Council Hornets as the Sundaians retained their first place spot at the top of the table, scoring 5 and conceding 2.

Wenxiong, Jason and Boon all opened their goal accounts with respective tap-ins and an outstanding dead ball effort that Ronaldo himself would be proud of. Yenhao and Nizar also added themselves to the goal tally with a fine lob each.

Long was voted MotM for another brilliant performance in the middle of the park as his efficient distribution and ball-winning put the game firmly in ESFC's favour.

Edis- Jason Ang, welcome home!



Good goal Boon!

STARTING 11 FOR MAY 18

Nathan
Weiling
Adib
Zhong
Eugene
Peng
Figo
Ah Long
Xiting
Yenhao
Jason Chew

Subs:
Boon
Josh
Jason Ang
Darren
Lionel
Nizar

Camera Women:
Esther
Rongzhu

Guys be there by 1215!!! CYA ESFC!!!

pre-match analysis

The morale is low in the camp despite having 3 wins in the bag for three consecutive weeks. Discontent with different playing styles, each and everyone in the team has to get used to playing together in order to gel. To a larger and more serious extent, last week's incident has caused the team's morale to hit a first time low in years.

Comments made by Toahri Pan-Chance has caused eyebrows to raise when he told Nudepaper that ESFC will not be able to overcome their differences in time for their next game, which is against their bigger size counterparts. " I feel that they will have a problem playing against the British as they will be stronger physically," said Tohari. Captain Tan Boon Han was however qucik to brush off Tohari's comments," What Tohari said is utter rubbish. Yes, I agree that we have yet to gel with new players comning in. However, we will not bow down to anyone, not even the National team, when we are on the pitch. We will dig deep to find the net and we will fall back and defend when we need to. Never will we ever give up. with our motto, Non Mihi Solum, everyone will help each other and play with their hearts, whilst not forgetting to use their brains."

The captain's remarks will only fuel hunger and motivation in the team. " No matter who plays tommorrow, I can assure you that we will do our very best in keeping our our clean sheets, and also our winning streak," declared Tan Boon Han with pride.

The Nudepaper interviews our Left-winger!

Recently, The Nudepaper interviewed ESFC's left-winger Kim Yuan on his thoughts about last sunday's game against the CUFC. Even though the midfielder has been struggling with fitness due to the reoccurences of his knee injury, he still made some contribution by indirectly(or some say directly) started a mass brawl between the referee, both sets of players and the fans. The incident happened when two opponents double-team and chopped the left-winger's legs off. Sensationally and luckily, Kim Yuan stood up straightaway with no hint of any injuries to his legs. His teammates were shocked and quickly went over to render assistance. However, this was misunderstood by the opponents and things turned ugly which The Nudepaper will not discuss due to sensitivity. Kim Yuan has, however, taken the opportunity during the interview to thank his team mates for their support during last sunday's Royal Rumble.

"I'm still stunned by what could have happened to those pretty legs because I've thoughts on being a model, much like Jason Chew. When it happened, my first thought was to get away from those two. It surprised me when I turned my back and saw all my teammates running towards me and showing a lot of concern. It really touched me at that moment and some teardrops were already forming. But I then saw many of our lads being surrounded and the police instinct quickly kicked in..."

The left-winger also has an advice for the team.

"What's done is done. I just hope that this incident would serve as a reminder to the players to stay focus on our targets and not be led onto such traps set upon by our opponents. It will not affect me on the pitch, that's for sure."

After their recent win, ESFC is on a 3 match winning streak. The team is
top of the table and the team looks in good stead. However, Kim Yuan reminds the fans not to get carried away as the team will take it one game at a time.

Idol?

Forget about the flicks and tricks of the Ronaldos, what's better than beating 2 or 3 players? Watch this video to find out. He does not need to dribble to beat defenders.

Like Premiership champions Manchester United, we defeated our opposition 2-0 on this cloudy Sunday.

Yen Hao broke his duck in the 30th minute as his predatory instincts allowed him to smartly finish unmarked from a few yards out.

Adib was voted Man of the Match for a superbly placed free-kick in the 2nd half which left the keeper rooted to the spot; and his outstanding performance in the centre of defence with the irreplacable Zhong contributed to yet another clean sheet.

Great job team! 6 points out of a possible 6, 6 goals scored in 2 matches and 0 goals conceded, 0 red cards. Woohoo!

Team Line up

The following players have been named for tomorrow's match against Cassanova United FC:
- Ang Nathan
- Ong Evra
- Chong Figo
- Nanizar
- Tan Weilin
- Tan Ronaldo
- Zhong Terry
- Ahlongso
- Tan Torres
- Kho Joshua
- Singapore Lion
- Low Sin Ting
- Sin Darren
- Muhd Vidib
- Tan Ri Peng

Everyone is expected to be at Canberra Sec at 1400h. We'll be getting our new jerseys tomorrow. REJOICE!

New Video!

Pre-match preview with guest pundit Shag-me Singh

This Sunday is going to be the penultimate game, not only for us but also for our beloved Man Utd(my beloved,not Kim's). With no points separating the 5 teams in the league, goal differences will be the key in the rankings. with 4 goals to our name and no goals conceded by Nathan Ang, we're on top at the moment. Hopefully this coming Sunday, a clean sheet again will prove to everyone that Nathan has forgotten to let in lob shots. Another player who is going to prove himself will be Muhd Nizar who missed a sitter last week after making a Wonderbeautifulsuperb turn which he could only ram the ball past the keeper, and sadly, the goalpost.

With captain Tan Boon Han still tight-lipped over the players for this week's game, everyone will be on their toes hoping to be called upon to represent the club. As quoted by Shag-me, "This team has a lot of calibre. The individual players are simply magnificent. And when they're on top of their game, their rhythm is 2nd to none and their team chemistry is the mixture of Man Utd and Arsenal. The flair in the team can match Brazil's when they are on top of their game."

With that, the match will be a tight affair as both teams would like to break from the others and create a 3 points buffer between the rest. To end this preview, some words from Shag-me Singh, "I can't wait for the team lineup! It will definitely be shaggilicious to watch this Sunday!"

Are you?

ESFC 4 - 0 HELO FC

ESFC kicked off their inaugural amateur football season with aplomb as they hit four past the opposition goalkeeper.

There was an apparent sense of tension and anxiety in the first half as our team struggled to find their free-flowing style, making untypical, unnecessary, unforced errors.

MOTM (Man of the Match) Eugene Ong broke the deadlock after the restart with a well-placed header to the far post. Nerves were then finally eased as the team began to find their rhythm. Peng then scored the cushioning second goal with a neat low drive. Eugene Ong scored a carbon copy of our team's first ever league goal, thanks to inspirational captain Boon's precise delivery from the corner. Nizar then finished off the game with a powerful tap-in after a marauding run down the flanks by evergreen right-back Weilin.

All in all, it was a good team performance against the sporting Helo FC as ESFC rose to the top of table, albeit before the taking place of the Cassanova v British Council game. Well done guys! Keep up the excellent work. Thanks for joining in the warm-up and cool-down hahaha.

Everyday... Sunday! :) Dear camera-ladies (and Boon's fans/friends), here's a very sincere "thank you" from all of us. Yay!

ESFC's new football pundits!

Be at Boon Lay Sec by 0815 hours!

Lineup for tomorrow's game: Nathan, Sinting, WeiLin, Nizar, Zhonglun, Adib, Josh, Long, Figo, Boon, Peng, Eugene, Darren, Jason Chew, Yenhao

Pre-Match analysis

The weekend is in 2 days and our inaugural match in ESPZEN is in sight. Our first match will be against HELO Football Club who won their first game 5-2. Thus, they will be in high spirits come this Sunday. However, do not place your bets yet as ESFC has been on a roll with 5 wins and a draw in their last six games. The game will be a tight encounter.

Looking at the opponents, they are all from the high-flyers club, as most of them have spent or are spending their time high up among the clouds as pilots, stewards to name a few. After a good start to the tournament, HELO FC will want to continue their winning streak against ESFC. The ESFC players will have to take note that these high-flyers may takeoff easily when challenged.

In order to start on the right note, ESFC are going to field the strongest side ever, lest Eugene Ong who is still dogged with injuries and Jason Ang who has flown off to Taiwan to find his long-lost lover from his previous Taiwan trips. We also welcome back Nathan Ang from his fight to be in the Dean's List and also Tan Yen Hao from his diving trip in Taiwan. Much to the delight of Muhd Adib, he has been restored to centre midfield in the absence of Jason Ang. He hopes to bring a Scholesy-like aura into the team this Sunday after watching Man Utd down Messi(ah)-inspired Barca 1-0. With Nathan back between the post, let's hope the lob shots which Ngak saved last week will be saved by Nathan this coming Sunday. Joining Zhong at the back after more than 3 years will be Nizar. The successful pairing of these two no-nonsense defenders with speed as fast as lightning will surely be pivotal, just like the brown-ferdinand pairing yesterday. Completing the back 4 will be Sinting and WeiLin. The wings will be terrorised by Captain Tan Boon Han and his sidekick Ri Peng while the midfield will be anchored by the Josh "the Bull" Kho. Completing the line up is the SGS pairing of Figo and Jason Chew upfront. Speaking on behalf of the team, cameraman Then Kim Yuan has told reporters that he expects everyone to play their role in this upcoming big match. Quoted from Mr Then, "No matter where you play, play for the team. Even though there's 'ME' in 'tEaM', 'Me' is nothing if u look at how Barca expected MEssi to finish off the game for them". To sum it up, there will be 4 substitutes this Sunday who are all ready to fill in the ranks if there's any injury.