Dear ESFC,

See revised game time and venue below:

v British Council Hornets FC

13-Jul-08 Sun

3 PM

Woodlands Ring Sec School

Have a great game!

Kind regards,

ESPZEN ADMINISTRATOR

MISSING WRITERS

Kimi Raikothen, one of our guest writers, was found in bed naked in bed with a transvestite during his trip to Bangkok. As such, he tried to keep a low profile as the story has yet to reach Singapore's shores. Nevertheless, PeePeeSee.com has published pictures of him in a state of nudity with 'neh nehs' and 'ku kus' showing. The paparazzi was quoted as saying he heard orgasmic screams of "Yea man!" every few seconds.

Meanwhile, last week's match against British Council was postponed to 13th July 08 due to a snowstorm at Everton Park. The pitch, located just besides Goodison Park, was covered in ankle-deep snow which made it impossible to even use the yellow-coloured ball. This means that Kimi and Zhong Terry will be available for the next 2 matches. However, this cannot be said of "Gayboy" Figo and Jason "Commando" Ang. Both have been called up for the national squad for an intensive 3 months training followed by 15 months of full-fledged dedication to the nation.

This Sunday will be different. ESFC will be having a get-together session at CCAB. A 2 hour kick-about followed by deep soul searching to ensure that players will be ready to play for the team.

At the moment, everyone will be praying for Russia to win later tonight. Go ROULETTES!

Dear friends,

We have street soccer this 29th June, Sunday at 1000-1200 HRS at CCAB. Please contact Weilin for directions. For your info, he has bought a brand new pair of blue Adipure! As his nickname states... DREAM BIG, because reality sucks.

Dear friends,

Unlike the pros we watch on TV, we PAY to play. Please transfer SGD 50.00 to Kim's POSB Savings account 193-04666-5 by the coming Monday because we need to pay ESPZEN SGD 540.00 upfront for next season by Wednesday. If we fail to do so, we might not have a league to play in after this week.

As usual, drop Kim a SMS/email after you've transferred the money so that he can verify the transaction. The surplus money from which you did not play during the 8 games of the Sunday Mini League will be refunded in due time after everyone has paid up.

Thank you for reading and your much needed co-operation!

Spain to win it,
Josh

Dear ESPZEN,

I am Josh Kho, vice-captain of Everyday Sunday Football Club. Our match against Cassanova United FC on 15th June 2008, held at 1100 hrs at First Toa Payoh Sec, was called off halfway through the second half by the referee as internal strife took place between the Cassanova United players. As per your match reporting policy, I have not submitted my match report online and instead emailed you at this address.

We were leading 7-0 around the 60th minute. Their right-back and centre-back were hurling vulgarities at each other on the pitch; and if not for the intervention of their own team-mates, would have exchanged blows by the sidelines.

Please advise us your course of action. Thank you for your time!

Yours faithfully,
Josh Kho
VC
ESFC

-

Our penultimate match of the mini league was abandoned halfway through the second half by the referee as internal strife took place between the Cassanova United FC players. Our 7-0 scoreline and 3 points gained from this match means we are effectively CHAMPIONS OF ESPZEN MINI-LEAGUE 2008! Well done team! Time to bring out the champagne and dru- Oops haha just kidding.

We would also like to take the time to say that we have no hard feelings toward any of the Cassanova United players, and sincerely wish them all the best in their future endeavours.

ESFC's Activation Name List

Players who are ready for battle!

1. Nathan
2. Lionel
3. Eugene Ong
4. Adib
5. Sin Ting
6. Wei Lin
7. Boon
8. Josh
9. Yen Hao
10. Peng
11. Kim
12. Leslie
13. Figo
14. Li Xing
15. Ah Long
16. Darren

And of course our inspirational Tan Zhong Lun!!!
Please be at 1st Toa Payoh Secondary by 1015am
Bring both 'Red' & 'Blue' sets of jerseys as well as some ice packs! (Adib tells us to keep our cool!)

Injury scare! Ahhhhhhhh!

A horrifying injury scare took place just before Sunday's penultimate match of the season against the physical Cassanova United side as both ESFC left-backs' right legs suffered the full impact of Weilin's combative psycho-friend's studs at the conveniently-located East Coast cage.

As the adage goes, a picture is worth a thousand words, so here are three thousand words:

Eugene's right thigh; as if it got scratched by a cat that's really pissed off! Morale of the story? Don't play with pus-


Darren pointing to the three bruises on his right calf. Adidas some more la.


Darren's hand is up! This picture also serves as evidence that the second pic truly belongs to Darren's leg.

We sincerely wish all injured friends a speedy and complete recovery.

Back from the dead

Muhammad Vidib is available again after missing 2 games of the mini league season. Without Vidib, ESFC has managed to score 6 goals and concede just one, winning both games. This shows that Vidib has not been missed. That's a good sign that ESFC has enough cover for injured and suspended players.

PeePeeSee News interviewed Vidib about his feelings after a 2 game absence, " I'm delighted to be back in the fold. I'm not sure if i'll be playing. As everyone can see, the team has been playing well and we might just keep playing with the current players who have been winning games for us in my absence."

As ESFC welcomes the return of Muhammad Vidib, still missing will be the influential Zhong Terry, still out with and injury to the ankle, and also Kimi Raikkonen, who has a charity race to participate. Both absentees will also miss ESFC's last game of the season as they will be away in Bangkok meeting potential sponsors for the club. Let's pray hard that ESFC will get a sponsor for the new season.

According to Suckernet.com, ESFC will be crowned champions no matter what. Nevertheless, Vidib stressed that they must not be complacent and they should continue playing total, samba, beautiful, joga bonito football.

"Don't get agitated this Sunday. They will find ways to anger us. We must always keep our cool," reminded Vidib to everyone in the team, especially himself.

Dear Everyday Sunday,

Congratulations on your inaugural season with ESPZEN – your team is undefeated and deserves a chance at the higher leagues. Note given our league structure of promotion and relegation, all teams have the chance to quickly progress to the top flight.

I can only bring a new team into the higher leagues however should an existing team drop out, if there are no drop outs then of course i can not remove a team from the league.

Next season we may have 10 or 11 divisions, with many new teams joining for the new teams some may be very strong others not so strong however they would all be in div 10,11 etc so the first season may be challenging with teams playing in a league which doesn’t match their ability, subsequent seasons may not be as challenging as the teams meets some of the weaker existing teams.

I will definitely try to place you in a higher league ie not 10 or 11. There are however similar requests from other teams, however as your team has already proved you a stronger than other mini league teams this is in your favour.

I will arrange for you a friendly game on 29^th June or 6^th July as you have no league game on this date... this again will help justify a higher placing.

Please confirm you are available on 29^th June or 6^th July.

Thanks,
ESPZEN

-

As per Kim's request, I have already emailed ESPZEN to arrange the match to be held on the 6th of July. Peng, please ensure that you have no duty commitment on this particular Sunday. We need your famous right adipure boot! : ) FIRST GOAL YAY!

Lim Peh talks about ESFC!

Lim Peh ka li kong, hor, we are already the number 1 in the league.

But then, ah, we also playing in the lousiest league. This situation is what we call lum pah pah lan.

We are good but, bo pian, people don't believe. They think we bully lao ah pek and si ginnahs.

Like that ah, I think we must play against Brazil and Italy lor. Si beh cham hor.

Our players, ah, are si beh tok kong. Got ah neh, got ma lai ren and alot of cheenahs. I think, hor, we are better than the Singapore multi-national team leh.

We cannot depend on those angmohs and ou ran because, ah, they don't live in the kampung and so don't have that kampung spirit.

You see, ah, Like last night, hor, I went Geylang to, ahem, “employ” a, ahem, “foreign talent”, and then, I was working very hard on her.

But then, after like five minutes – na beh! She cannot work any more. Cannot trust "foreign talent" one. The bleddy “foreign talent” still charge me so much.

Aiya, I think the gahmen must do something loh. And I think the simi sunday team is also buey pai lah. No foreign talent. All home-grown kukujiaos! Haha!

So, I think the gahmen should sponsor the team lor.

6YardBox 0 - 4 ESFC

ESFC continued their relentless pursuit of the championship with a resounding 4-0 victory over the sporting and valiant 6YardBox playeurs.

MotM hat-trick hero Peng scored not one, not two, but three goals with his priceless right adipure boot (credit to Boon and Jason for their superb assists); and was typically instrumental in the team's performance throughout.

Josh opened his scoring account with a smart left-foot finish after expertly holding off his man, after being put through by Boon's precisely-weighted pass.

Sin Ting and Wenxiong displayed tremendous quality as makeshift goalkeepers, as their sound handling and distribution gifted our team another coveted clean sheet.

As Zhong likes to say, EVERYDAY... SUNDAY!

ESFC Call-up Against 6 Yard Box

1. Wei Lin
2. Eugene
3. Lionel
4. Leslie
5. Darren
6. Kim
7. Boon
8. Yenhao
9. Figo
10. Ah Long
11. Peng
12. Josh
13. Jason Ang
14. Sin Ting
15. Nizar

Please bring both sets of jersey (RED & BLUE)
Be at 1st Toa Payoh Secondary by 1220pm
Water parade!

strawberry dipped with chocolate anyone?

ESFC has been hit with injuries! Even the return of the King could not override the media's publicity on these 2 players - Zhong Terry and Tan Yen Hao. Both were injured during the match against Helo FC. The news is a big blow to ESFC's title challenge as Vidib will also be missing from this Sunday's lineup as he'll be in Msia attending to his cousin's wedding.

Meanwhile, Tan Yen Hao declined to be interviewed regarding his injury status as he was too distraught to talk about his latest injury in 2 years. However, from what PeePeeSee news gathered, his latest injury setback isn't the worst he had encountered. Before this, he had deep cuts on his fingers and right ear which required stitching. This time round, it was only a muscle pull. Hopefully he'll be back soon.

The same thing could not be said about Zhong Terry. He has a microtear on his ligament and the doctor has said that he will be out for 3 weeks or more. The news is a bitter blow for the man himself as he expected himself to be fit for the Bangkok trip in 3 weeks time. Looks like his night activities will be restricted within the 4 walls of his hotel room -not that he will complain =p. " I will gauge my injury myself before i deem myself fit to carry on playing. Hopefully I'll be running in a week and i'll be ready for the next game in 2 weeks' time," Zhong commented, trying to be optimistic about his chances.

On a more pressing issue, certain players have had a dip in form this past week. A major restructuring of the team might happen this Sunday as many first team players will be out(3 is ALOT). Every player called upon to play this Sunday is expected to fill in the shoes of those missing and play like Lions(England, not Singapore). "A team like ESFC have players who can fill in for those who can't play due to injuries, overseas posting or even a dip in form," suggested Muhammad Vidib when asked about problems that ESFC might face this weekend.

ESFC players will have to brace themselves for hot and fast-paced action on the pitch as all the teams will be vying to inflict ESFC's first defeat. "I believe that ESFC players as a whole have the spirit to achieve greater heights and we will conquer ESPZEN!" remarked Muhammad Vidib, hoping to inspire his teammates with these words before departing for Malaysia.



In the meantime, please remember to drink plenty of water prior to our games.

Return of the King(oops, Kim)

Everyday Sunday Football Club has been given a massive attacking boost after left-winger Then Kim Yuan showed no ill-effects from his 25 minute appearance for the club's match against HELO FC last Sunday. Kim Yuan has not played more than 10 minutes beforehand after injuring his medial collateral ligament in his right knee, with the rehabilitation period taking longer than expected.

Kim Yuan said: "It was in June last year when I had the injury and I knew there was a lot of work to do to get back, especially when the team needed me on many occasions and I aggravated the injury.

"Since the start of the year, I've given much thought to stop playing entirely and fully recover from my injury. I've intensified the strengthening exercises in the gym and also visit different doctors to seek their views.

"I am now just thinking about trying to get as many minutes under my belt as I can before trying to get back into the first team squad.

"It was nice just to come through 25, my first in six months or so, and it feels good, even though I'm lacking in terms of fitness compared to the rest of the boys."

The absence of the left-winger in recent matches have sorely put the spot-light onto the previously unknown(or rather unseen) Muhd Adib, with the latter grabbing all the attention with his goals, fights and sensitive comments to the media. With the left-winger back to the fray, the media will be relishing the opportunity to put their focus back to the controversial midfielder, albeit in a hugely entertaining manner.

ESFC continued their winning streak in the inaugural Mini League with their straight fifth victory in a row. Domination of possession did not translate into goals as glit-edged chances were spurned.

MotM Peng was the creative force behind most of the team's attacks and finished off two swift counter-attacks himself this Sunday.

Injuries to stalwart Zhong and the mercurial Yenhao, and a sloppy goal conceded to a rare moment of indecision amongst the usually rocksteady defence, marred an otherwise good match against the valiant Helo FC players.