Kungfu Football

A handful of United players squared off with some Chelsea groundskeepers during their warm down. It is has been reported that things popped off when the players refused to leave the pitch after being ask to do so. Something was said, and the situation proceeded to get all WWE. Patrice Evra, in particular, seemed to relish his chance at world wrestling championship title glory against the bigger and stronger Chelsea groundsman. In fact, there have been other speculations that Evra has already mastered the art of "Yi Yang Tongue" similar to the Chinese martial art "Yi Yang Finger"(一阳指), a martial art which has its own unique way of striking acupuncture points. The highest level of the Yi Yang Finger could emit lethal Qi from one's fingers and in Evra's case, the Qi will emit from the tongue, causing one to be motionless.



Eugene Ong, our very own Patrice Evra, has already announced to his teammates and the media that he has been practicing the martial art and is already at the 7th level of the martial art skill. He also proudly states that he requires just 1 more level to reach invincibility and that he is not afraid to unleash the "Yi Yang Tongue" at his enemies. On hearing the news, captain Tan Boon Han is delighted that Eugene has taken extra time to practice alternate skills even during his daily rehabilitation from persistent ankle and shoulder injuries. Speaking to SoccerNEI.com, the captain also praises Eugene for being a good role model to his other teammates and hopes that they will follow Eugene's shoes and start to add creative skills to counter the rapidly evolving style of football. Football fans of ESFC can only look forward to the promising future with the prospect of the players using famous martial arts like Eric Cantona's Shadowless Kick, Zizou's Iron Head Technique and Alex Hleb's Thousand Hands Slap.



What a revolutionary way to add excitement to the game!